After coming down from the high of being engaged which for many of us is shortlived, we have to not only deal with how to go about things going forward but also how to conquer stress while wedding planning. Before you try to fight me on the fact that it’s just apart of the journey, I will offer my rebuttal upfront. Stress does not have to be apart of your wedding planning journey. In fact, you can get ahead of the process and start creating your systems of an organization if you’re not able to hire a Wedding Planner.
I personally bought a Wedding Planning Workbook and took to excel spreadsheets and my traditional handheld planner once I got a clear idea of what I needed to do. Google was a great consultant as well (LOL). Let’s look at some key things you must consider initially. In order to avoid stressful situations as last-minute changes arise, you must plan accordingly.
Give Yourself A long Enough Engagement Period to Financially Support your Wedding Planning Goals
Let’s pretend for a second that you’re going to have to fund your own wedding because we all know how our families come together to pay for everything. Sarcasm intended. Can you honestly plan your dream wedding in six months without going bankrupt? If you know you want to pull out all the bells and whistles for your big day, then be realistic. How much time will you need to come up with the money needed to pull everything off?
For instance, I got engaged end of January 2019. We decided not to get married that year because we knew that we’d likely we funding everything ourselves. We instead decided to give ourselves 1.5 years to get our finances in order for this wedding. During that time we changed our mind at least three times. We considered eloping and then just having a reception later. We considered a destination and then we finally settled on having a small wedding which quickly turned to a medium wedding today.
My ultimate goal was to keep the wedding under 10K and while some things have come up that will put us closer to the 15k mark. A few tweaks and a little less people-pleasing could have easily helped to bring us well under $10K. However, with all that being said, had we not given ourselves enough time to properly plan this wedding, life could have gotten the best of us. 2019 was a rough year for us as a couple. I lost two of my cousins (twins) eight months apart from each other. I was hospitalized unexpectedly which caused a financial burden on us.
My fiance’ at the time was working a severely underpaid (apart of the financial burden) job. It took him nine months of constantly interviewing for different companies before finding something better. Simply put, lots of other things happened outside of these events. If we hadn’t given ourselves 1.5 years to plan and come up with the means to finance a wedding, we probably wouldn’t have been able to recover in enough time to have the type of wedding we desired.
Understand that Not Everyone Is Happy For you during your Wedding Planning Season
People will show you their true colors during your Wedding Planning Season and you just have to accept that. Whatever the reason you can’t allow yourself to get caught up in the hoopla and people “acting different” than you’re used to. It’s easy to take it personally or regurgitate all the other times this person was shady. Think about it like this, you can either give energy to negativity or protect your peace and let people be.
People go through and grow through things differently than you. Just because you wouldn’t do them like that doesn’t mean they won’t do you like that. Those be the main people that will do you like that.
Don’t let anyone change you and keep your eye on the prize. This is not the time to lose focus. Enjoy the journey and understand that God does expose your enemies before he blesses you.
Understand that everyone cannot go with you. Some people are only in your life for a season. If you want to truly be happy, have zero expectations of others and put your faith in the lord. Need more guidance on how to not take things personally when people start being distant during your Wedding Planning Journey? Check out my post that I wrote on that by clicking the link above.
Things will come up, Have a Backup Plan and Accept What You Can’t Change
Your Wedding Planning Journey will be a series of constantly adapting. You may start off with six bridesmaids/groomsmen and on your big day only have two people standing up. You may end up having to switch your Wedding Venue halfway through planning. Things will come up. That’s inevitable.
I think the many twists and turns during the Wedding Planning journey is what stresses people out the most. The uncertainty of how things are going to turn out what’s stressful. Especially where money is concerned. Having to depend on other people to do what they say they’re going to do, is nerve-wracking. Some things you’ll be able to easily bounce back from. Other things will be so last minute that it’ll make you hyperventilate.
If when starting your journey you accept what’s meant to be will be, then when things come up, you’ll be able to just shake it off. Most things that don’t pan out how you’d hope weren’t supposed to be apart of the plan anyhow. God always has something better in store. Just try not to take anything personally.
Enjoy your Spouse to Be during your Wedding Planning
Keep dating each other during this time. Date Nights are important so don’t skip out on these. It’s easy to get so caught up in Wedding Planning that you stop having fun. Or getting to know your spouse altogether. We’re allowing this journey to challenge us to save money. We get to come up with inexpensive and free ways to date each other. Sometimes we go out, sometimes we stay in but every time we enjoy each other’s company. We learn more about each other the more we spend quality time with each other. Prioritize quality time. Don’t let things you can’t control get you so far out of your square. Don’t neglect the needs of your significant other and yourself. Try not to forget about each other during this process being distracted by people, places, things, and happenings.
Things will come up but it’s all about your attitude. How you choose to get ahead of those last-minute issues is critical. This journey is an opportunity for you and your spouse to become more of a team because that’s what marriage is all about. Your spouse is your teammate. You are not alone. You can work through things together. Try to come up with the best solutions for dealing with things and people going forward and stick to that.
The odds of everything turning out how you initially planned is slim to none. What’s most important is you get to experience everything together. The engagement journey is an opportunity to grow with your mate. Don’t miss out on that opportunity being stressed out and feeling some type of way about how people are acting or how things are going. Want additional tips for stress management ? Click the link.
If you have additional tips for managing stress during your engagement journey, please do share in the comments below. I’d love to hear about it!